GREATNESS OF DOWNTRODDEN

It was April 2 2012, though it was a year before, still the memories of the day is very fresh in my mind. It was my younger girl’s birthday who was turning four and we were excited to wake up on this beautiful day. I was busy with my routine which starts with breakfast, feeding my kids. But deep in my mind I was getting thrilled, because, I making my first Barbie cake for my little girl.

The place where we live, she doesn’t have many friends, me either. Had it been any other place we would have arranged for a party with all her friends playing around with party games and dinner with our friends.

We felt bad in celebrating all alone here in this small place. So, we decided to make it a very memorable day in a unique way.

We decided to plan for a lunch for 50 laborers (constructing a new block in front of our house) with family and kids.Image

Though this attempt of helping the needy by a small way is our first try, but we were sure, we are doing something good. Few things in life happen for a reason. We still curse our stars for being here in this place, but on that it made us feel , may we destined to be here to make this tiny charity( if I may say so ).

We told our girls, a day before, that we are going to provide them lunch (a sweet, vegetable briyani with raita). My girls of 8 and 4 years couldn’t make out the sense of it but happy that something is happening in our house.

I finished my routine, cleaned my kitchen and was waiting for the cook to come.

Before the cook arrives, I baked her first Barbie cake, which came out reasonably good. My daughters were very happy and proud to see their mommy baking a cake. We planned to cut the cake around the noon time so that the cook finishes his job and leave the house to us.

A day before, we prepared the list needed for the lunch and shopped it in our nearby grocery store. The cook arrived around 10.30 with all the huge vessels. We were very particular with the quality and quantity of the food. My husband was very conscious that, food can be in excess but it should never be less for anybody out there.

The cook, along with 2 other boys, started the preparation; we told him that lunch had to be served by 12.30. Since, they work in front of my house; I have seen them having their lunch well in advance.

I dressed up my girls in their new clothes and they insisted in taking few pictures of them in our lawn. Though, I was busy hanging out with them, but my mind was preoccupied with lunch and the timing of it.

We had informed their contractor (head), a couple of days before that they are going to have lunch at our lawn. I started getting ready with setting up of paper plates, sweets (Gulab Jamun) water jugs and the serving spoons.

Since the cook is an experienced person, he got it ready by sharp 12.30. Image

We called all the laborers to our lawn, they were little hesitant to enter, but then we insisted them to come. Our family was equally excited like them, because of the very reason, its first time in our life, we are making an effort to help.

I told my daughters to pick up the plates and give it to them. Once they started having their lunch, a lady from the crowd, came up to me and asked me” madamji! What’s the occasion that you are celebrating? “I told her that it’s my daughter’s birthday.

She smiled at her, didn’t know what to say, escaped into her crowd.

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We were very very happy to see them all enjoying their briyani and kids asking for refills. We were not sure what our kids understood from this effort, but they seem to be happy in seeing others eating.

They finished their food in an about an hour, without we telling them they cleaned our lawn and made the place as clean as before.

They didn’t know what to tell us neither we. They left our place by smiling at us.

The lady who asked me what the occasion is, came to my little girl, took out a 50Rupee note from her pouch. By keeping her right hand on my little girl’s head, she gave that 50 rs to my daughter and told her to buy a new doll for her birthday and said “happy birthday”.

Tears filled our eyes. We very politely refused the money she gave. The attitude of this lady is not in the mind of big people( people with great bank balance). This is where , I feel , greatness of the small people stands. This day made a huge impact in our life, I hope it makes in your life also , when reading it.

“No one has ever become poor by giving” – Keep helping and keep learning from them.

CHASING YOUR DREAM

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It was a Bright sunny day, where my mom was busy with making breakfast for our family. Though I share my room with my sister divya, we both feel privacy is very much missing in our house. My family was excited to wake up for this very day, the only reason behind this; it’s my Campus Recruitment Day. They waited for this day to come, to see me getting selected into Software Company, to say my daughter is a Software professional.

Being an elder daughter they have immense expectations and aspirations, which they want me to fulfill. But deep within, I was scared, that I am going to break their heart. Simply by telling them, I am not going to appear for this Campus Recruitment. Though the difference between me and my sister is just two years, but we are not very close enough to share our secrets.

My dad was busy telling me how to appear confident while attending the interviews and mom was praying within herself for me to get through this. I thought breakfast table is the best place for me to break my silence.

My mom made my special and her signature dish of Onion Uttapam with steaming hot sambar. Though it’s my all time favorite, I felt huge lump in my throat, which made me difficult to have spongy uttapam. My dad, my first hero, all of a sudden pointed and asked me “Nithya! What’s that you have in your mind”?  You seem little distracted with some thoughts. If it’s your Recruitment, then it’s very common, otherwise you can share it with us.

I felt the time has come to pour my heart. I simply said “dad, I am not going to appear for any of the Interviews, I am not good at Software, rather not happy in doing DeskJobs”. I spit it out finally. I know I am relived, but I couldn’t dare to see them.

My mom was furious at me; you know how much we were waiting for this day. Even yesterday Ramu Uncle (my mom’s brother) called up and told me; possibility of getting into an IT company is very low. He said, you are lucky to have Nithya as your daughter, who has good grades with her and he was very confident of you making it through. She wiping her tears said, look at your dad, he gave you so much of freedom, is this the way you pay him back.

My dad, unlike others, he never stopped us doing anything. He was a very particular man with family values. He gave us enough space for us to have an open thought and to be independent.

It was very difficult for me break his heart, his dream. I looked at his eyes, then I said dad, I want to be a singer not a software engineer. I know, I was so raw with my words, should have chosen a polished way of telling my parents.

My mom was shocked, nithya how can you think of becoming a singer? Girls of a middle class family like us should not think of getting into an Entertainment industry? R u mad? What will we tell our family? Don’t make your dad regret of giving you so much freedom.

I always wanted to be a singer. That’s my dream, my ambition, my heart.s my dream, my ambition, my heart. Engineering is not my cup of tea.

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I want to enroll in KM MUSIC CONSERVATORY. It is founded by Dr. A.R.Rahman. They are offering a crash course in Western Vocal, a Summer Programme .I have to attend a interview for this Vocal Programme to get the admissions.

Mom couldn’t control her tears, oh! So you have decided what you want to do without consulting us? She buried herself in her arms and my sister went near her to console. I know she is in pressure from family, for me to get into a job, work for a year or so then get married. This is what girls of my age normally follow, whether they like it are not.

My dad, till this moment was watching me closely, asked me ‘when do you have the interview’? Everyone was shocked with his words. My mom said what are you saying? We can’t allow her to go into singing. She is a small girl; she doesn’t know what is wrong or right. We have to make her understand that singing is not good for her.

I was sitting on the edge of our old sofa; he came and sat with me. He said by keeping his hands on my shoulders, my daughter has grown big .Turning to my mom he said, can’t u see she is speaking her heart. It was we who taught her to chase her dream. I am happy she has identified her dream. Now we have to help her chasing it.

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I couldn’t control my tears; I just hugged him so tightly. Dad! Thank you so much. I am very sorry, I should have told about this, long back. But I was very scared to share it with you all. I was very sure that you will be there to back me. Thank you so much.

I went to my mom, who was still confused with my dad’s decision, held her hand, said please mom! Have faith in me. I will not let you down. I will always make our family proud of me. Singing is what makes me happy, gives me fullness to my life.  I may not earn like my other cousins (Software Engineers), but end of the day, I will have a deep sense of satisfaction.

Mom hugged me and said, your dad was right; you have grown, no longer a little girl, whom I know. Dad gave me a reassuring smile, which gave me what I want, my family.

 End of the day I know, if they had said no to my singing, I was very sure, I wouldn’t have gone against them. But I know they will accept my decision, and have faith in me, that’s what family is all about” Believing you and being with you throughout”.

Divya came to me and gave a very friendly hug, started asking me about A.R.Rahman and about the Boys who come for the courses. I told her it is in collaboration with MIDDLESEX UNIVERSITY, London. She got even more excited. She said she is very happy for what I have decided.

Dad started to Google about the KM Music conservatory, asked me how long is the foundation course, accommodation and fee structure. I assured him the fees, I would like to apply for an educational loan, which he was little hesitant initially but I convinced him that I want be on my own. My mom was happy that the course is in Chennai, where we have many relatives staying. But for the course, they have their own hostel which is compulsory for all the students. She felt secured of Chennai, where she can reach in few hours from Pondicherry.

Now that, I have got their nod for move, my next prayer is “I have to clear my interview with KM “. I have confidence in my vocal, since I have been going for my classical singing classes for more than 10years.

Though till last year, I have never had a thought of taking singing my profession. This dream of mine popped up only after I won my first ‘Best Singer Title ‘organised by inter-college cultural fest. To add icing to the cake, the title was given by Honorable chief guest Dr.S.P.Blasubramanian. He really appreciated my singing, and said I am sure shot a Playback Material.

That night, I still remember, I couldn’t sleep, I was hugging my title so close to my heart and made up my Secret Dream. When I shared this news of winning, with my Music teacher, which was very happy. It was she who told me about KM Foundation course and encouraged me to find out more about KM.

The news of my family backing my dream, I shared with my one and only best friend Nisha. She is my only friend I have got, all through my college life. She was equally happy for me, having known my family very closely, she was very much sure that they will accept my dream. I gave her my best wishes for her interview which she is going to appear for.

We both decided to meet in the evening, at the very same spot which is our favorite, Beach. Café coffee day with the beach view is our usual hangout point. When I reached the coffee day, I saw her coming with a huge smile; we both hugged and jumped with joy. She got selected in Microsoft, training in Bangalore and placement most likely in Bangalore. We both were very much excited with today’s development.

Months passed so very fast, the day I dreamt came, first day at KM and I was super excited. My father came to me drop me off and reminded me his thumb rule” Freedom with Accountability”. He was very clear and told me to stay conscious with my behavior. I assured him with a hug and told him that I will not let him down rather make him proud. My dad hugged me and wished me good luck and asked me to take care of myself. He said now you are on your own and to keep my eyes and ears open all the time to be safe. I reassured him and told him to take care of my mom; she herself didn’t come just to avoid emotional moments.Image

I entered my college, found there were people from all walks of life from different part of the world. Even our professors were from different countries all trained and best in their domain.

I promised myself to put in my maximum effort in the classes and learn to improve my singing. The college taught us how to improve our vocal and told us all the technicalities in singing. It was a wholesome experience which I have to thank my family for allowing me.

When we love our work, in a course of time, we get into worshiping it. This is what is happening to me. I am enjoying each and every moment of my life right now.

My senior faculty from Scotland called me to his office. He said he was following my voice for quite some time; he got really interested in the uniqueness of my voice. Finally, after appreciating me, he broke the news that I have been selected from my college to sing in a “short film”. It was an awestruck moment for me.

I was really very happy, excited and thrilled by the news. I picked the phone and called my dad told him that he is going to hear my voice in small screen. He was all the more excited and promised me to be there while I am singing.

I thought to myself, had my parents not been supportive and been with me, I wouldn’t have come so far. We all are born to do something in this world; it’s just that we don’t know what it is? Just follow your heart and chase your dream with your family.

Motherhood

 

“The only love that I really believe in is a mother’s love for her children.”
―     Karl Lagerfeld

MOM

I never had any idea about the depth of this word. It’s truly a miracle word which has got so many meanings with itself. I never dreamt of becoming one. I got married at the age of 23, life was pretty easy that moment. After my first baby, couple of years later, I thought its easy to become a MOM. I thought I possess all the qualities of a MOM.

But I was wrong completely.  Its difficult , its tough, its unpredictable and it takes everything out of you and I was least prepared for it.

Days passes like a flash of light. I had no clue of child grooming, food habits, sleeping schedule. I used to get angry but I couldn’t make out on whom I was angry. I was waiting for them give some time for myself. I couldn’t yell at them and I couldn’t make  them to understand me. I was helpless.I thought when kids grow, they may give me sometime for myself.

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But today I have 2 grown up girls , still I wait for that time for myself. Now if I sit back I feel I was totally wrong. Kids don’t give you time, its we who have to manage time. Few things in life , if practiced on regular basis, is always taken for granted. Be it from my family  (No offense) my kids, friends anyone for that matter. I get exhausted with my routine and feel like escaping into a different world at least for a while. One thing I realized , kids as they grow, their demands ,their expectations with you increase. They may turn out to be less dependent on you but the responsibility on handling these grown up kids shoot up drastically.

Here are few things which I thought to myself will start practicing from this year for myself.

1. Enroll myself in a hobby classes be it baking , aerobics, yoga anything. I just want to let my hair down for a while and try to be me and myself.

2.I have planned to read more . Be it Family drama , self-help books or  even Health related but my personal favorite is Romance and fiction.

3. Listening to music of our choice soothes our mind. The feeling of emptiness I have felt when all have gone out and am all alone . A good friend of mine told me, the best way to break the silence , is to listen to your personal favorite.

Friends this is what have come to my mind right now. I am very sure this feeling of mine is very common for all homemakers out there. It’s not like we cannot do anything but we chose to be a homemaker. I will be happy if you share with me your mindset of Motherhood.

AAP – India ready for a change

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Just read the Breaking News- Kejriwal refuses Z level security, which puts delhi police in a spot. A very refreshing change ahead for us provided AAP don’t fall into the trap of dirty politics. There is no harm in giving them a chance to prove themselves. An IIT graduate as Delhi’s Chief Minister, wow finally well educated people in politics. A very welcoming change.

Life lesson that kids teach us

We very often Google about , how to groom kids, how to teach them values of life, how to make them smarter. We always have a feel that my kid, has to learn so much from this world, for him/her to lead a better life. But if we give a deep thought, we have to accept ,there are equally many things which they in turn teach us. Those lessons may be due to their innocence but believe me we have to thank them for their valuable inputs.

I jotted down few points which are to my knowledge:

  • I strongly feel the love, which my daughters have on me ,is much more than the love which I have on them. The way they hug you tells the depth of their love. For instance, when my daughter ,when back from her school ,everyday she runs up to me and give me a hug which says that ” I missed u Mom “. The love which they have with them is Truly unconditional Love . This not only as a parent I say , but even grandparents, teachers, everyone around them, I am sure will vouch it .
  • Adaptability to any place. This again is my personal experience, as my Husband is in a Travelling job we keep shifting every 3 years. But the time ,which I take to adjust to a new place, is very much longer than my kids take. That’s because we have huge expectations and they don’t have any . They just go with an open mind.
  • This may sound silly, if we have misunderstanding with our loved ones ,at times we go and make it up with them, say after few days ,months, even years. If you have noticed, kids just patch up their fights in seconds with their friends and let it go immediately . The reason behind this is ” NO EGO” . In Kids dictionary there is no place for a word called EGO. They live in the moment and don’t dwell the past.
  • Creativity and exploring new ideas are their biggest advantage. Be the creativity comes from using Recyclable items for their new project, Paintings with their unique color combinations and the list is endless.
  • We all must have seen kids playing games with Spiderman , Barbie dolls, Fairies…If we notice they do an excellent role play with their toys, imagining himself to be a Spiderman and play as if he jumping from a  building and giving a helping hand. If it is a girl she gets into her Barbie world and having  a party with her fellow Barbie’s. I guess this is one of topics which they cover in many of the  Management talk shows,  Personality development techniques. They teach us how to use and develop this technique to handle difficult situations.
  • They speak their mind. Unlike us, they don’t have a bunch of people around , to impress. They don’t care about what others think . They behave the way they are.

Before enrolling yourself for a Personality Development Classes, take a close look at your kids.I am very sure there are million other things to learn from the kids. The list is not exhaustive.

In certain situations there is no harm in being child-like. So for a change instead of grooming the kids ( which we think we are programed for) lets learn few tiny things from them . Those tiny little ideas of them will make a huge impact on our life.

 

 

 

Positive Energy – A mindset

The term ‘Positive Energy’ comes to your mind if things are not happening the way we want it to be. We plan million things in our life and put our maximum effort for that to happen. But if it did not turnout the way we expected we go down and feel very low in life. If it continues for a while then we get totally exhausted with negativity around us and we feel its high time for me to come out of it. We all search for some energy which tell us to get up and move on .

But how, where  to get the positive energy? Positive Energy is like a wind , you cannot see it , but only feel it.

Here are few ways to experience positive energy. This is truly from my own personal experience which I am recollecting it and sharing it with u all.

  • Always have a Open Mind. Open mind is takings things the way it comes and to have a open heart to accept it.  We have to keep telling our self that things are going to get better its just a phase which I have to cross with strong will and open mind.
  • Making a conscious effort of always thinking positive which will eventually get you the desired positive  outcomes. Its all in the mind.
  • Reading Books and Watching your Favorite Movies will make you feel all the more better. Books are your biggest friends even if  you are left all alone in this world. The choice of books is yours it can be either Fiction, Romance, Thriller or even Self Help books which will take you to a different world and makes you to forget your negativity.
  • Always keep your house well ventilated. Fresh air and Early Morning Sunlight  is an excellent source of Positive energy. Keep your doors and windows open for that to enter your house and your soul.
  • Keeping a bunch of fresh flowers in your house ,picked up from your garden, will also soothe your mind. If not from your garden, shelling little amount of cash, for the flowers will not go for a waste. It will keep you fresh and vibrant.
  • Spending time with your children or even with your close friends will make you feel relaxed. Catching up with an old friend of yours and recollecting the memories will have an instant relief to your heart.
  • Plan for a vacation with your loved ones to a place connected or close to nature. More you close yourself within your room more you are hurting yourself. It will not help you at any point of time. Just try this out, when you are in a bad mood, take a long walk to a nearby park or a lake will make you feel good.

These few ideas are personally experienced and gave me a good feel in my life. At the present scenario, our expectations are getting bigger and bigger which may not turn out fruitfully as expected. This may make us feel low and if it persist may get you into depression. So  during those bad phase of your life small effort of yours only make you come out of it. I have shared little things which I thought is required in todays fast moving world.

Be what you are!!!!!!!!!

This title of  ‘ Be what you are’ may sound like yes I am always what I am .It is always easy to say yes I am actually myself not pretending to be someone  else. But deep within everyday we , in all walks of our  life,  we pretend to be someone else . It starts from trying to impress somebody whom we think they are very close to us . We all have the fear that if they come to know our true self they may not like us. But friends, actually its the other way around, which we realize very later in our life. Our Loved ones  will not like us to be someone else and will always accept us for what we are .

This habit of changing yourself starts from a relationship may be with your friend , Boyfriend, Husband, In-Laws, the list is endless……  But how long can we portray to be someone else, adjusting to their own likes and dislikes, trying to make them feel I am THE PERSON for you . Later at one point of your life you feel you have not lived your own life. You are actually living someone else life . That guilt will make your life miserable and you will burst with utmost anger which may end up hurting your loved ones.

So friends this is all I am trying to say Stop pretending to be someone else . Be what you are, no matter what , your loved ones will always be with you . They will love you for the fact that you have not lied to them by being someone else.

This ideology( if I may say  so )  of ‘I am what I am ‘ should be cultivated in minds of our children . As  a parent its our responsibility to tell our kids you don’t have to change yourself to impress us  , your teachers , your friends . Be what you are and Be proud of that . This attitude if the child starts nourishing it form the very beginning of his / her life they  will turn out to be a very Trustworthy Companion for  her loved ones.

This  topic of mine may sound little too plain simple but I felt the urge to share it with u all……..

This is my first post in here I feel very Proud of writing this for you all….